In my life i have made many mistakes.....they were foolish , stupid and based off pure immaturity. Oddly enough all my major mistakes started with the letter "M" . The one mistake i made was failing to embrace exactly who i am and being comfortable in my own skin. Insceurties always got the best of me and for some rease after the two "M"s i decided i would never do that again. The first M although he did hurt me terribly taught me that people will let you down and you have to find it in yourself to forgive . When i first met him he was this extremely quiet person who made me laugh and he was really my first crush ever lol.....HA HA HA I SWORE WE WERE GONNA GET MARRIED!!! <-yes mom i did say this !!! lol but i didnt like him because he was cute I likeed him because he was the only person who really truly knew me and could relate to me i guess thats why i tried so hard to create something that was obviously not there. I was hurt when he told me he didnt like me because of my skin complexion....I felt insecure once again ! I felt this small -> . ! Then i tried absolutely everything to get lighter in hopes that i would be "excepted" but how dumb was I ! I didnt realize that if he really liked me my skin complexion wouldnt matter. Instead i tried to correct something physically impossible ! I cried everynoght hoping and praying i would get lighter because that was the standard of "BEAUTY" where i lived. I mean here I am a beautiful chocolate color and I am everynight crying myself to sleeep wishing I was lighter I mean no one would believe this cuz on the outside everything seeems perfect but on the inside I am a mess or atleast I was. I would see people like beyonce , keyshia cole and pray to god I would be lighter. Its not complteley M's fault itwas my own insecurity that drove me to that point ! I promised myself I would never let myself get there again.
-Thanks For reading there is more where this has come from
p.s. in tears while writing this : ' (
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